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Maintaining A Relationship Offline

If you've taken your online dating relationship offline, chances are your relationship is getting more and more serious. Find dating tips for both men and women at American Singles, including advice for what to do if your relationship does not end up working out.

First Impressions & Women

What are some things to consider with first impressions?

Most men simply don't care about fashion. Scientists have speculated that this is due to a toxin produced by the Y chromosome, but more research is needed to establish it as a fact. Whatever the reason, the typical male can have an extremely limited fashion sense. Men do notice color, tight fit and bare skin. The more refined aspects of clothing pass over their heads. What this means in practical terms is that no matter how much time and effort you spend in making sure that your clothes, hair and accessories are just right, it's not likely to get noticed.

When women misinterpret this, it can add a layer of frost to what might otherwise become a warm dating relationship. Try not to take this as a calculated insult by your date, it might be solely due to ignorance. You will be at your best if you feel your best, so pay whatever attention to your attire is normal for you. Just don't expect too many raves about your sartorial splendor. If your date does compliment you on your clothing, it's a good sign that he's at least aware of your feelings. It doesn't necessarily mean that you will be having long discussions on the merits of denim vs. linen but who knows, you just might get lucky. Stranger things have happened.

General Advice To Men For Dating Online

What is some advice for men when dating online?

If one person is doing all the talking, it's not a conversation. Your date has had plenty of opportunity to discover your natural wit and charm during the online personals relationship phase. Monopolizing the conversation won't add to these qualities. First meetings can be full of awkward silences and it's only natural for the more talkative of a pair to try to fill these up. Your date may be shy and you're doing all of the talking by default. Here's where the knowledge you've gained online about your partner can help. You know her interests and possibly even her passions. Just ask her about them. This should restore some balance to what may have been a very one-sided conversation.

Even the quietest of people will really get going once they've started in on a topic they feel passionate about. Women really appreciate a man who is a good listener; show her that you've got it in you. Complimenting your partner on her beauty or clothing will certainly be appreciated, but make sure that you let your date know that you appreciate her more substantial qualities. Recognition of a woman's inner beauty and intelligence is far more likely to strike a receptive chord in her heart. This will also serve to quell every woman's fear that their date is really looking for a glitzy bubblehead.

Online Dating & Friendship Relationships

What is a friendship relationship in regards to online dating?

While dating and love relationships are what come most readily to mind when people think of online relationships, is there anyone among you who couldn't use another good friend? After all, when the love relationship's just not going right, who are you going to complain or cry about it to? Friendships are not only easier to form than love relationships, they're often longer lasting. A few shared interests and a similar sense of humor are probably enough to get you started.

If you find that you have plenty to talk about and seem to enjoy each other's company, you're off to a good start. The primary factor in a good friendship is trust, which can take years to build up, but you've got to start somewhere. And there's no emotional roller coaster that accompanies a love or dating relationship. A true friend is someone you can be grouchy around when the mood strikes you. Just try pulling that off in a new love relationship. Better yet, you can have as many friendships as you're capable of handling at a single time, while lovers tend to frown on you having multiple love relationships. Don't sell friendship short.

What Are The "Deal Breakers?"

What should I look out for with online dating?

People usually focus on the positive attributes that their lover should possess. They often forget that it's the negative attributes that may preclude a relationship from ever getting off the ground. Some people will not tolerate sloppiness in a partner. For others, it's greed or vanity that just won't cut it in a lover. For every person, there's one or a set of qualities that they abhor so much in others that a love relationship becomes out of the question. These are the "deal breakers."

If you prefer to do your own matching, avoiding these qualities should be your top priority. Love strikes in peculiar ways. If there's chemistry, you may find yourself falling in love with a partner whose world view clashes with yours; someone whose profile you'd never give a second glance to. As long as these aren't deal breakers for you, it can work. But it's possible to fall for someone who has deal breaker traits and you'll quickly be miserable and the relationship has poor long term prospects. Don't let this happen to you. You can weed these prospects out while still online!

What To Do If Your Date Doesn't Work Out

What do you do if your first date doesn't work out?

Sometimes people just don't hit it off. A love relationship where there's no chemistry or a friendly relationship where you don't enjoy the other's company is not destined to endure. Be sure to give it a chance unless it's absolutely horrible from the start or you feel threatened by your date. It sometimes takes a while to get to know someone and initial impressions don't always last. Try to at least make it through the first date before deciding "nevermore." Above all, try to see things from your partner's viewpoint. You've probably had days when you weren't at your best so cut your date at least a little slack. Still, if you find your date's company thoroughly unpleasant, there's no reason to prolong matters.

Be sure to be polite, it makes the entire world a much more pleasant place. How would you feel if your date told you that you're too ugly or boring to be around? Also, be aware of the possibility that your partner would be fine in a different type of relationship. Just because you feel no spark with someone you envisioned being in a steamy love relationship with doesn't mean they wouldn't make a good friend. People who aggravate you in person can still be charming and witty in an online relationship. If you're sure that your date is hopeless, be firm but don't denigrate them. Be as truthful as you feel you can without being hurtful. Someday the shoe may be on the other foot.