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Online Dating Etiquette

Everything is easier with a guide, including online dating. Familiarize yourself with online dating etiquette for chat rooms, dating profiles, personal photos, and instances where one person is no longer interested in the other.

Ending an Online Relationship

How do I deal with the ending of an online chat room relationship?

Whether you're ending an online relationship that never made it out of the singles chat room, or one that did, there's a right and wrong way to go about it. While you don't have to give a detailed explanation to someone, you at least owe them the common courtesy of explaining that you're no longer interested.

If you have yet to meet the person offline, but have communicated frequently, respond with a polite message. Explain that you enjoyed getting to know them, but you are no longer interested. Don't come up with outlandish excuses. If you say you met the love of your life and really didn't, they're going to know when you're still logging into the chat room or your profile is still up. Short and simple is the best option.

If you have met this person offline, you owe them a little more of an explanation. While emailing them is acceptable, you should give them a phone call if things were relatively serious. Simply say that you are no longer interested. If they press you, be as polite as possible and give them a little more information. If they resort to hounding, ignore them or hang up.

Giving someone constructive criticism is acceptable and you should do so if you feel comfortable. If your date was too clingy or interrupted every word you said, let them know. Be polite and inform them that you wanted to point it out so they are aware of the habit.

From Online To Offline

When do you know when to take online relationships offline?

Going from a chat room to a face-to-face meeting at a local restaurant or café is the climax of online dating. The purpose of online dating is to establish a connection via cyberspace, get to the know person a little bit and then see if it works in the offline world. Deciding to meet up is a big decision, but an exciting one, as well. However, don't forget that online dating etiquette still applies to meeting your online friend in public.

Follow these steps to ensure a happy, fun first meeting:

  • Make a plan and stick to it.
  • Decide on a date, time and place together.
  • If something really does "come up," inform them immediately.
  • Compromise. If you live a considerable distance from one another, plan to meet halfway.
  • Tell the person what you plan to wear. Having them wander around aimlessly searching for you is rude and humiliating.
  • During the date, focus on conversation. Listen to your date and ask questions.
  • If the date isn't going so well, stick it out.
  • As awkward as it may be, offer to pay and mean it.
  • If you're no longer interested in the date, wait to inform the person. Simply end the night with "Have a good night," or "We'll talk soon." Then notify them politely via email.
  • Don't rush into things. As tempting as it may be, do not invite your date back to your place, it's not only pushy, but unsafe, as well.

On a final note, if you are constantly and consistently emailing or chatting with a particular person and have no intention of planning a date, let them know. If not, you are just leading them on, which is impolite.

The Online Disappearing Act

What do I do when someone stops talking to me?

As you go about your online dating search and participate in singles chat rooms, you'll probably experience, or fall victim to, the disappearing act. You may find yourself deep in a conversation with someone in a chat room and moments later they disappear. In some cases, it may happen after you've been emailing someone back and forth or even after you've already met them in person. This practice is rude and hurtful, but common. You can't take it personally or let it hinder your search.

On the other hand, as enticing as it may be, don't play the disappearing act yourself. If you're talking to someone in a singles chat room and suddenly have to sign off, send a goodbye message. At least there's no room for wonder or concern on their part.

In terms of disappearing on someone you're emailing, don't do it. Even if you find you can't stand this person, you owe them a goodbye.

Finally, if you've met someone face-to-face disappearing on that person is even more rude. A simple email explanation is quick to send and not awkward.

Simply disappearing after establishing any form of connection with someone diminishes their level of trust. It could happen to you, so you'll know how it feels. Don't play the disappearing game.

What To Do When Someone Says They're No Longer Interested

How do I handle regret when it comes to online dating?

So you've met someone offline and maybe you even went on a second or third date with them, but suddenly you receive a message that they are no longer interested. While this will probably hurt, and you're bound to take it personal, don't focus too much attention on it.

Singles chat rooms are just like real-life situations in that you're going to meet indecisive, fickle people. You may be enjoying each other's company one minute, only to never hear from them again or receive a curt "I'm not interested" message. Responding to their message of disinterest with a nasty comment is rude and childish. Just move on.

In addition, do not bug them with frequent emails. If they change their mind, they will contact you. "Checking in" with them makes you look desperate. There are plenty of other available singles online waiting to chat. Wasting your time on another person is keeping you from meeting someone better.

Finally, consider it practice and a lesson in dating. Maybe you were too hopeful that this person was "the one." Maybe you compromised some qualities you look for in a partner because this person was charming. Forget about it and start chatting again.

When Should I Remove My Dating Profile Or Stop Entering Chat Rooms?

When do I know when I should remove my profile?

So, you've met someone in a singles chat room or from an online dating site, met them in person and things are going smoothly. Now, what do you do about that dating profile or unanswered emails from people you met in a chat room?

If you're very interested in the person you've met offline, and know they are too, then the answer is easy. Remove your profile and stop logging into any more singles chat rooms.

If you're unsure about your feelings for a person you've met offline, or where your situation stands, hold off. If you'd like to be exclusive, don't be shy, ask them. If they agree, remove your dating profile and say goodbye to singles chat rooms. If they are hesitant, it's perfectly fine to keep looking.

In terms of unanswered emails or messages, respond accordingly. If you were talking consistently to one or more people, respond by saying, "I enjoyed talking with you, but I'm no longer looking" or something similar. For emails or messages from people you had yet to form a concrete connection with, it's ok to leave them unanswered. If you want to be more polite, however, simply respond by saying, "Sorry, but I'm no longer looking."