Online dating sites are a great place for finding singles with similar backgrounds as yourself. Whether you are looking for Christian singles, Asian singles or Latino singles, the many dating profiles available online can help you find your ideal companion.
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- Contacting Someone From an Online Personal
- Keeping The Conversation Focused
- Planning A Date
- When You're Not A Match
Contacting Someone From an Online Personal
How do I go about contacting someone after looking for someone with the same background?
Once you've found someone that interests you, and that you seem to share some common background information with, you'll want to contact them. Messaging other singles is the second step in the quest to find singles, and you'll want to ensure that your first message stands out. There are a variety of ways to make the first message you send different and unique, and therefore, remarkable:
- Say hello and mention that you saw their profile. You may want to add what you liked about the profile.
- Be sincere. Use your compliments sparingly. No matter how honest you are, if you are excessively praising this person, it will seem phony.
- Introduce yourself. Briefly state your name and a little bit about what your interests are. If you write too much, you risk the chance of the person never reading it.
- Ask a few questions. Two or three is a good number for a first message. Focus on questions that have the potential to open up conversation, rather than close-ended questions.
- Don't forget to highlight your qualities that match theirs. Or, the traits you possess that coincide with what this single looks for in a partner. Remember you're looking for someone with a common background.
- End with a brief closing and that you hope to hear from them soon.
Keeping The Conversation Focused
What do I do to keep the conversation focused?
After you've sent out some initial messages to find singles, you'll start to receive some responses. Some might be short and not address any of the questions you asked, others might be too long and still not address your questions. Hopefully, some will help you get a better idea how much this person shares in common with you. If you still want to know more about someone's background, before moving on to discussing other topics, follow these tricks to keep the conversation focused:
- Ask some more background questions. How long have you been politically active? Were you born in the United States or did you grow up elsewhere? For most first-time conversations these question might be a little too personal, but you are specifically searching for a certain type of person, and you'll want to know right away whether this person meets those qualifications.
- Be specific. If you know they are Christian and want to know what specific religion they are, ask. After your question, follow with your denomination. For some of the questions you ask, give your own answer. This will make the person feel more comfortable and direct them towards answering your questions. It will also give you the opportunity to learn more about their background.
Planning A Date
How should I plan a date when we decide to finally meet?
When your search to find singles has finally led you to someone with a very similar background, you're probably anxious to meet offline. Before doing so, make sure you are both ready. If you're not completely comfortable, continue messaging one another for a little bit longer. When you are 100 percent ready to meet up, here's what you should do: Plan the date together. Choose a date, time and location that works well for both of you. Make the date unique. Since this person shares a great deal in common with you, you may want to have the date reflect this. Sample authentic cuisine or attend a political rally. Meet in a public place. For safety reasons, you should always meet in a public space, like a mall or park. Don't expect too much. Keep your expectations lower. If you anticipate the date going perfectly, you might end up disappointed. At the end of the date, leave things open. If you had a great time, say that the two of you will talk soon. You can't be sure that your date is feeling the same way, and you don't want to put them on the spot. In addition, if you had a bad time and are no longer interested, inform them later via email. It's more polite.
When You're Not A Match
What do I do when I realize we're not a match?
During your search to find singles, you may realize someone just isn't a match or you're not really interested in them. Maybe you are only interested in Asian dating, but the some of your candidates aren't. Maybe your ideal mate is a Catholic single who goes to church regularly, but it turns out the person you've been chatting with doesn't. Whatever the reason, it's bound to occur as you search through the profiles of hundreds of singles. First, you'll probably want to be sure that this person isn't a match. You might love that someone you have been communicating with is a liberal, but then discover this person's opinions seem more conservative. Whatever the basis, ask yourself these questions:
- Do I really regret that this person doesn't possess one of my key qualities that I initially thought they did possess?
- Does this person have other qualities which coincide with my background?
So after further inspection you realize, the two of you are not a match. Now, you need to let the other person know. Do so with a polite email. Don't go into too much detail and end it there. If the person replies with a malicious message, ignore it.
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